its hard to be understand,,

hey,,
im a bit dissappointed with him,,im afraid im waiting for something that is not mine,,waiting at the edge for him to take my hand and and bring me to the other part of my life by marrying him,,what should i do when by the end of the story he would just failed me as much as all those people before this did to me??how am i suppose to encounter this feeling??how m i suppose to confront his family,my family and most important is my LIFE,,??life without him is beyond my imaginary,,for 2 years and 1 month ive been living my single day with the present of him and all of sudden when ive start to think that i have to live my own life,its just like my heart already been taken away from my body,,it seems like life without a soul,,


he needs one month to catch up with our relation,,what if after the next month and there will be nothing??yes its ez for him to ask me to go away,,but how about my feeling that already been with him after all this time,,its HURT,,DAMN hurt,,how am i suppose to bare all this??its hard being me when ive start to fall in love,,is he really want me for his future??cuz im very sure with my decision to take him as my future,as part if me,,


im afraid someday when ive know my faith that GOD had written to me WITHOUT him,i'll have to surrender,,im afraid of that,,i cant push my faith away,,as what GOD already created for me from the earlier,,GOD,please let us be together until death do us apart,, please listen to my pray and let us be together forever,,may he will open his heart to fix all the problem that occur,,
aminnn,,